What if I'm not that brave?
by ALightInTheDark12
Summary: A sky drop jump, Mason terrified of heights, Spencer is a sky droper, need more to say? One-shot. Spenson. Mason's POV. AU.


Consider this shot as an entire AU, because I can't do that many things fit up to the series. You know what to do, fav, follow or review :)

(The same boring note, English is not my first language).

* * *

 **What if I'm not that brave?**

At what point Madison thought it would be a great idea that, to celebrate our birthday, a parachute jump would be the perfect gift?

For being my twin sister she should know that I'm DREAD of heights, I prefer a thousand times to be safe and sound in the firm ground, at the mercy of being hit by a car or a bus. I could die of a heart attack up there.

The car continues to move on the path of loose rock and dirt, Madison had me to get up early on a damn Sunday for the awful event. Dad is driving and mom is giving him directions with the very old map she found in the glove compartment. For every second my heart seems to beat faster.

"You actually killed it with this gift, darling" mom says, looking at her in the rearview mirror. Madison just smiles and moves into her place.

"You certainly did" I mutter under my breath, but my inner psychic voice seems to speak louder than the necessary, because she nudges me in the ribs.

"C'mon, it's gonna be amazing" she says, tickling me in the waist.

"Maybe, but that doesn't erase the fact that today I hate you".

He shows me her tongue and continues watching the nature that moves outside the window. I sink into my place and put my music louder, I don't know why I think Nirvana, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi and the GazettE are going to wake up a little macho attitude and courage in me, but their music is quite good.

I close my eyes and I start to think about the multiple varieties of accidents that could happen when we get there, in a vacant site on the outskirts of Lima. It could be that the plane runs out of gas, or that it explodes in the flight, or that my parachute doesn't open, or that I actually have a fulminant heart attack in the free fall, an epileptic attack, an ischemia, an…

The sink of the car in a huge slump makes the car leans to the left, enough for me to crash my head against the window. I take off the headphones and Madison laughs heartily, mom yells at Dad but he just smiles.

"Alright, here we are" his words do nothing but finish scaring me.

We get out of the car and I immediately look at my feet when we start walking, the unmistakable sound of aircraft engines and the smell of gasoline are the first things that strikes my senses, then shadows that move in all directions.

Until I raise my head and see people falling from the sky like leaves of trees under the influence of wind, inevitably falling down, it's when I think that I don't have high blood pressure or that I'm hallucinating. I guess the bright parachutes are used to locate if you get stuck in a tree.

We got to the front desk and greet us a lively, talkative girl named Rachel Berry. Madison is in charge of the whole business of the booking and the discount she got while I watch small fragments of videos of other people who have also jumped on the screen over Rachel's head.

"McCarthy…" says Rachel, typing on a computer. "Oh yeah, here it is! A reservation for two" a printer at her feet spits a few sheets of paper, she stapled them and she gives them to us. "Fill out these forms, when you finish give them back to me along with the payment and everything will be ready".

"'Thanks!" Madison exclaims, taking the papers harsh with her hands and running to fill them in an empty table.

I shuffle to her side and start filling the blank spaces, my hand trembles and many of my letters are somewhat illegible, more than usual. Age and date of birth, my name, my blood type… number of health insurance… health affiliation… 'We disclaim from any accident that may produce consequences beyond our reach'. That doesn't sound encouraging…

"Did you already finish? What about now? How about now?" Madison tickles my waist, and the last thing that I want her to do to me is to keep talking. "Come on, Mason, we will lose our turn…"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up now, here" I growl and roll my eyes while I extend the hand. "I don't know how you're going to do it but you really have to make this up for me".

I hand her the sheets, she kisses me on the cheek and then runs, I turn my head to the right and I see her talking to Rachel, finishing out the details so that in the end she gets a couple of photographs and videos of the whole horrible experience we are about to have. I would love to keep sleeping right now.

"Aren't you going to jump with us?" I ask when mom and dad are close, sitting next to me and putting their hands on my shoulders.

"Hell no, did you think that we value our lives so little?" mom gives him loud knock on the head, but that doesn't prevent my panic to seize me.

"Don't listen to him sweetie, he's just teasing you" mom gives me that encourage setter smile that Madison and I inherit. "Go and have fun, this is something just for you two, we're going to see you from here".

Madison comes back and takes my hand, we move towards some tables that are below a mesh that protects us from the sunlight. I turn my head to the right and I see lots of people coming into safety harnesses, others are getting information on how to land, and some others are preparing to board the aircraft that is approaching to them.

"Mason McCarthy!" shouts a blonde and short stature girl in a megaphone, holding a clipboard and shouting another couple of names with the same bad mood every time.

I see a girl, whose name is Brittany Pierce, or something like that, approaching to a girl with olive skin and long black hair tied in a ponytail. They both smile and hold hands, so I can say it's not the first time they are thrown into the chute, or I can also bet that there is something between them.

"Mason McCarthy!" the girl screams back, a little bit angrily. "I will not say it again! Come here now!"

I get up and move, like if I were about to get into a boxing ring to win the championship fight. She sees me and rolls her eyes when I get closer, she pats on the back a girl with thick black curly hair and beautiful brown eyes. She's a very cute girl.

"Hi, Mason" she says, giving me one of the brightest smiles I've ever seen. I return the gesture and she looks away a second. "My name is Jane Hayward".

"Jane, a cute name for a cute girl" I wink and she seems to blush a bit, I scratch my nape and breathe a slight sigh, holding my neck and looking straight in her eyes. "Well, now I can tell you how grateful I am that you are my sky diver, you don't know how frightening it can…"

"Oh, wait, wait, wait, I'm not a sky diver" I hadn't noticed that her eyes grew wide with each one of my words, and now mine wide for what she just said. "I'm dedicated to prepare the jumpers, your sky diver will come in a minute".

She hands me the harness and my movements are too mechanical, I'm not sure how I manage to do what she tell me, I don't feel like I'm within my own body. I follow her movements and try to memorize all the indications, things that ultimately my sky diver will end up telling me, but for some weird reason something seems to not wanting to do anything. All I want do is to go home.

"Well, that's enough for now. I'll give you a couple of minutes, they will come for you at any time".

"Sure, you're a sweetheart. Thank you very much".

I give her another smile and she walks away, she finds the grumpy girl halfway, their whispering among themselves and they don't stop looking at me. I don't know how to feel about that.

"So? How's it going, little bro?" Madison gives me and audible slap on the back, but I merely shrug and I look at her skeptically.

"How do you think?" I say, with obvious sarcasm in my voice. She raises an eyebrow and pinches my right cheek.

"Come on, this will be fun".

"It's easy for you to say because you love doing all this kind of stuff" I cross my arms and her smile upsets me too much. "You know perfectly well that I don't like such strong emotions, I prefer a thousand times to be on solid ground".

"That's exactly why I did it, you can't go around in life being that boring Mason McCarthy forever".

She moves close enough to whisper in my ear, but I don't understand why if we can use our inner psychic voice, her eyes found mine, she stands on her toes and looks over my shoulder.

"Besides you talk like if I hadn't seen you were flirting with that girl".

I make an effort not to turn my head, because she's watching her, and she has a very sharp and at times quite terrifying look. I can swear that Jane now shivers.

When she decides to leave I'm thinking that this couldn't be better, now in addition to being a coward and someone boring for not wanting to risk my life I'm also someone who flirts with strangers. Does this day could be worse?

"Mason? Is there a Mason over here?" «Oh damn it could get worse. Thanks life, I hate you too».

I turn on my heels to meet the deep voice that pronounces my name. I meet a seemingly tall boy with bright blue eyes, muscular body, his blond hair is so short that he almost seems to be bald, although he doesn't look older than me.

I raise my hand and walk towards him, with every step I think I see his smile widening, it also seems to me that he's looking at his feet rather than see me, but I think that's just my imagination. With the firm and confident countenance he carries I don't know exactly what happens in my stomach.

"Well, hello, Mason! My name is Spencer Porter and I'll be your partner today, on behalf of the group of sky divers _Skyfall_ I welcome you".

I was wondering why his right arm was slightly stretched, and about the formality of his questions and behavior, but when I see he's holding a camera I remember that a video is part of everything that they're giving me today.

Spencer drops a nasal laugh and rolls his eyes, he lowers the camera and stretches his back, turning a little higher than he is now. It's like half head taller than me, something that I like so much in a guy. I prefer a girl to be about my height, or a little lower, but not too much for them to be considered as Minions.

"Perfect, formality is something that doesn't work on you" he lows his gaze just a millisecond and his eyes find mine, "but we'll have to do it again, unless you want a video where you show up with a look of astonishment by which they could pay lots of money".

I laugh at his sarcasm, and he doesn't stop having that smirk on his face. He reprograms the camera, he takes a deep breath and I prepare myself to be the best actor in the universe.

"Hello, Mason! My name is Spencer Porter and I'll be your partner today, on behalf of the group of sky divers _Skyfall_ I welcome you" he raises his eyebrows, like if he was asking me to say anything.

"I'm very excited to be here!" the sharp sound of my voice makes some people to turn their heads, and I can't help but feeling like the worst actor and worst liar that can may exist in the world. However, Spencer laughs.

"Then Mason, what brought you here today?" I glanced up and I see a small, genuine smile on his lips. I smile back and look at the small camera.

"Yesterday was my birthday, and my sister paid for this as a gift" his smile widens a little more and that makes me to cross my arms for some reason, "that's all".

"Great, then I can only wish you a happy belated birthday, and now let's do this!"

I see out of the corner of my left eye, I shrug more and a shiver runs down my whole spine, my teeth chatter and I can swear that I'm sweating. The aircraft is here.

The small group that corresponds to the aircraft begins to walk, I go in the back, with Spencer by my side, and I'm watching everyone talking about how exciting it is to do something like this. Many people seem to know each other, they talk like old friends and they act like that, and see Brittany with the other girl, Santana's what I heard, walking with intertwined pinkies confirms all my suspicions. They're a cute couple.

"I know that you're scared" he whispers, he almost seems to be kissing me on the cheek. "Breathe and everything will be alright, I assure you that".

People near a metal staircase and all rush to climb, while I climb I can't stop feeling that I'm torn apart from a place I'm so used to. Madison told me they can't force me to jump, but a little voice in the back of my head dies for it, and with Spencer by my side the voice seems to talk louder. I have to erase that from my ideas, I just met him to think of him like that.

When they move away the stairs I'm willing to take a leap to get off the aircraft, but I'm stopped for the hand of Madison, and the sneer of the grumpy girl a few minutes ago, Kitty, I think it's her name.

Spencer takes me by the shoulder, he makes us walk and sit behind the pilots, a man called William and a woman who gives him lots of instructions, like if she were reading them from the manual straight. I dropped and I almost feel that the surface below me is about to fall.

"First time?" Spencer asks out of the blue, so he makes me to turn my head and arch an eyebrow. I don't see the little camera pointing at my face.

"Excuse me?" He chuckles.

"Yeah, you know, is the first time on a plane?"

"Oh no, on vacation I use them a lot with my parents and my sister, it's not my total satisfaction, and is the first time I travel in one with open gates.

He nods to each of my words, that give me a little more of I don't know what, something that makes me want to hide my face in his neck. I get distracted from that thought by staring at the open door and trying to force myself to swallow the lump that insists on staying in my throat.

The engine of the aircraft begins to roar, the propeller in front starts moving while also does the plane. Everybody loose a kind of rallying cry, I only manage to raise my legs to my chest and think about which could be the best place I could be right now. The problem is that anywhere it occurs to me he is there, with that warm smile and those words that manage to distract me from my fatalistic thoughts.

When the track ends and the aircraft begins to raise in the sky I move back, without realizing I hit one of his legs, he contracts it and an involuntary snort comes out of me.

I don't remember exactly the height for which Madison paid for, but the minutes it takes us to go up taking goes in a deep silence between us, while the others are holding their animated conversations, bumping fists and taking lots of pictures. Even Madison and Kitty hold a very entertaining talk.

"I don't understand why you like to go out there on board of these death traps" I turn my head and catch him looking at me again. It's something uncomfortable but I don't deny that I like him to do it.

"I feel free" he says, looking out the window on the left and releasing a long breath, like if he were in love of heights. "You can do whatever you want while you're up, that until you have to go back to the reality that represents the Earth".

Now I look at him while he's watching the small clouds passing by our side, I focus on the line of his jaw and the curve of his lips, the calm rhythm of his breathing and the movement of his eyes.

"Besides it gives me the opportunity to meet new people, to hear lots of people talking about how brave they are, or the fear that gives them flying" he turn his head slowly, and although he had made a quick move I wouldn't have looked away. He looks at me straight in the eyes. "And there's nothing more adorable than a fearful boy in his first jump".

I start to lean slowly, I don't quite know what drives me to do so, I just know that when I can finally kiss this guy who I just met I'll feel somehow calmer. Watching leaning and smiling encourages me to go on, a little more… just a little…

"All right people, we're here!" says William.

Everybody stand up in seconds, pushing and dropping cries of nervousness and excitement. The sky divers put on the huge backpacks with the parachutes, they hook with their respective jumper and again the video cameras make their appearance, to continue recording an exciting day to defy gravity. I get up shakily, I put the goggles on, I close my eyes and I start walking in circles, thinking in horrible results again.

Spencer stops me and stands behind me, taking me by the waist and hooking his harness to mine. We walked, like if we were penguins, to the open gate of the aircraft, the cabin is empty, I didn't realize when everybody started jumping. The air slaps me, I can't breathe calmly and I don't like that at all, because I don't know if it's by the wind or by the heart attack I dreaded.

"I don't think I can do it…" I say, gasping for breath and closing my eyes tightly.

"I know you can" his nose places on my neck, his lips make light pressure with each word. "You're brave, I know that; you can with this and more".

"What if I'm not that brave?" Silence, a few seconds of silence where I only hear the sound of his throat for having him so close.

The air is hitting my face, but now the engine of the plane seems to be hear a little more distance. I dare to open my eyes and my heart reaches my throat, throbbing there and I feel that if I vomit right now it could fall in everyone who are watching us.

"OH MY GOD, I'M GONNA DIE!"

I immediately close my eyes and stretched my arms in a desperate search for something to hold on, the harness straps are not enough to stop feeling like my life force vanishes every second, the wind doesn't let me breathe easy and that gets to upset me thousand more times.

I move to try to free myself, but if I do then I would fall like a rock to Earth and that would be my last. The air filters through the googles and I'm not sure if the tears that gather inside are tears of despair or because of the excess of air.

"Mason, calm down, everything will…"

"Put me down! Put additional weight on us! I don't know what the hell you have to do but I want to be down, now!"

My voice cracks, and I know that the tears are because I'm starting to panic right now, fifteen thousand feet up and with a stupidly handsome sky diver trying to reassure me.

"This is normal, I am with you and I will not let anything bad happen to you".

"You tell that to everybody, it's your job!"

I hold tightly the harness straps, one of his hands sliding down the length of my right arm and try to find a space between my fingers. I refuse to even open my eyes, and he wants to intertwine his hands in mine when I just met him? Such boldness.

"My work has nothing to do with this" he says in my ear, in the same calm tone that he used all day. "I really want to protect you, Mason; let me do it".

I bite my lower lip hard, I open shakily my hands and our fingers intertwine for just a minute, because my arms are opened completely, and it almost seems that I'm flying, a nervous laugh comes out of my throat.

"I'm going to open the parachute, okay?" I nod, before I felt the tug of the parachute opening.

The slowdown in the fall just manages to calm me down a little, to see that I'm starting to fall like the people I saw when just got here, remember them landing safely, knowing that everything is in order down there enliven the situation I'm going through.

I stretch my head and the landscape puts me in awe, the hills seem greener, the sky bluer, and the white clouds more fluffy. I see Lima from here, and it seems to me a more insignificant town than it already is, a place that stain the greatness of the Earth, and can't stop thinking about the day I leave here, if the odds smiles to me and college accepts me next year.

He tilts the parachute to the right, causing us to begin to spin in the air, my arms stretched further. The feeling that I experience now is incredible: it's a mixture of adrenaline for the jump itself, and for having Spencer so close, and also remains present the fear for what could happen.

"You want to enter the cloud?" he whispers in my ear, but now I find myself grinning like an idiot.

"Can we?!" I ask, like a small child about to climb the best attraction at an amusement park.

He answers me by moving the parachute again, entering a somewhat thick white mist below us. Within a cloud you can't see absolutely anything and the environment becomes a little wet, but my hands never stop moving, feeling that drops are formed between my fingers and palms.

To my surprise his hand slips down the length of my arm and intertwines with mine, his breath deliberately crashes into my neck and I feel a little calmer.

"Did you see? I told you everything would be fine, I told you that you were brave".

"I am, and I couldn't wish for a better company to prove it".

I hear him laugh, and if I could do so I would be kissing him on the lips, as a form of appreciation for knowing that he will not let anything bad to happen to me, at least not while we're up here. I hate to think what will happen when we're down, on the place that he calls reality.

Another pair of sky divers have the same idea as Spencer and venture into the white cloud, spinning uncontrollably, while I still hear shouts of joy.

I see Madison below, far, far below, the yellow pants she's wearing today are quite distinctive. By the movements of her arms I think she's holding another conversation with Kitty, or she always been as scared as me and she was trying to stay calm.

"The camera is on your left, if you want to say something" I turned my head, I raise my free thumb and show our intertwined hands.

"It's the best day of my life!" I shout, I don't know if that will be heard on the recording.

I look back down and see that we are a little closer to the ground, and I start to figure out the silhouettes of people. Then comes to my mind the idea of whether that if it's really possible for someone to like someone so deeply and quickly as I do with Spencer. Anyway it is, I'll discover it down there, because we're about to land.

"Move your legs, like if you were running".

I heed and begin to move them, because we are about twenty meters from the floor, fifteen, twelve, ten, eight, four… the first impact with the ground runs through my whole body, but I don't stop moving, like he requested.

We stopped moving, I take off the goggles, he unhook the harnesses and I can rotate freely over my heels to wrap my arms around his, burying my nose in his neck. He stays still for a second, then he wraps his arms around me and his head rests on my shoulder.

"Thank you" I whisper in his neck.

"Guys" says Jane's voice, and I force myself to split us apart, "photography".

I put my arm around his shoulders, he does the same, I smile like never before and we raise our thumbs, like if we didn't knew that something just spontaneously generated between us. It's sudden, it's severe, it's deep, I love it!

Jane takes the picture, she winks at me and goes to photograph the other jumpers. Spencer takes the small camera again, stretching his arm so he can focus on both of us.

"And that's what I call a great jump" he says, pointing at the camera and arching an eyebrow.

"Surely yeah" I turn my head to the right and feel heat in the cheeks.

I lean over and kiss him on the cheek, I stand there long enough to feel that he start's to smile and laugh. Now he turns his head and his lips inevitably collide against mine, they are so soft that they bring on another adrenaline rush. My knees shakes, by the impact of landing and for him, but I want to think it's more because of him.

We move apart, and for the thousandth time in the whole day I gasp, his pink cheeks bring out another small laugh from me. I reach out my hand and he has no doubt to intertwine it with mine, we walked the rest of the airfield until we got to the tables, now filled with lots of people.

I spot mom and dad, but they realize that I'm holding hands with Spencer, so they just smile and look away. I love that they take the things that well. I also see Madison, exchanging numbers with Kitty and giving her a hug, like if they were old friends.

"I really want to do it again, by your side" he turn his head and something seems to light up in his eyes, he reaches out and me too.

"With a few other bucks we can do it as many times as you like" he winks, and I detect a bit of the double meaning in his words. "But it occurs to me something even more exciting".

"More exciting?" I arch an eyebrow and his forehead meets mine.

"You and me on a date, what could be more exciting than that?"

I throw myself at him again, joining his lips with mine in another delicious kiss. His hands places on my waist and mine around his neck, I cup his cheeks and I'm forced to get up on my toes, the new pressure of his lips against mine pulls out a sigh of me.

"Spencer, there are so many customers waiting, so stop chewing on the face of your new boyfriend and get over here now".

We split for the annoying voice of Kitty, I accompany Spencer a few more minutes, the minutes it takes me to deliver the harness and wait for the photographs and the video. Until I see the issues that he himself ordered I realize the changes in my behavior up there, ranging from complete panic to a tranquility that neither the best monks could reach. I don't want to miss this ever.

Madison rushes me, because the following thing in the list (which mom did while I was dying in the jump) is a family gathering to celebrate our birthdays. Spencer asks for a spare minute to Kitty, and she gives it reluctantly, and he uses it to accompany me the car.

"See you later?" he asks when I pull down the window.

"You think I want to lose this anytime soon?" I poke my head and kiss him quickly on the lips, I move away and make him to launch a kiss to the air, and for so I laugh.

I give him my number and my address, like him to me, and I can jump for joy because he lives four blocks from me, and so far I hadn't seen him anywhere, neither in school nor in the supermarket, nothing. I guess something good must come out of this.

I kiss him again, and Dad is forced to start the car so we can move apart, I pull up the window and return a little to my cranky mood with which I started the day, blinking very often to keep watching that last bright smile.

"I hope you realize that now I no longer have to make it up to anything".

"What exactly do you mean by that?" she makes a sound in her throat while the car enters the highway, the road back home.

"Let's say someone asked specifically for Spencer to be your companion" the devilish smile soon appears, and she just exasperates me a little bit more. "Now it's when you admit it was an amazing day, and that you love all my crazy ideas".

"Yeah, I'm not sure about that" she growls and crosses her arms, mom leans forward just before Madison begins to kick her seat, like always when she throws a tantrum or something that doesn't ended like she planned it.

"I give up!" she shouts from the deep pf her lungs and resists punching me in the face. "You're a very bad person, for being twins we are a little too different".

She puts on a pair of huge headphones, rather they seem earmuffs, and the music is so loud that I can listen to, and we are nowhere near. Mom and dad looks at me with disapproving faces, I roll my eyes and look at the reflection of the window, the small smile that tightens the corners of my mouth is so obvious that I don't know how they didn't notice all my lies.

Outside I'll show that I detested the day I just had, full of thrills, new people, new feelings. Inside I can't stop thinking about how much I owe to my sister for giving me everything of that, and for giving me more.

I'm not going to ever admit it in front of Madison, but this was the best birthday present I've ever got.


End file.
